2013

It's 2013, HAPPY NEW YEAR humans! (though is kinda late) But who cares right? ahahah! 
Yes, im back hospital to missy life. And 2 more months, there goes my 2 years of nursing course! Time files, & i realize i've been in healthcare line for 3 yearsssss.

Its monday today, as usual you will get to see my zoombie face. To be honest, Im pretty glad that i survived till 11pm at work yesterday! Andddddd, my morning shift today :) Is all started with the big big bright bright moon this morning, and ofcos those stars at the sky. 
Work was good today, busying my cute patients! At times when im so shagged, so tired that i just feel like ignoring those callbells. But maybe the most wonderful things to kept me going with a smile is realizing that your smile to them, make a very big difference.


It been 17 weeks without you. To be exactly, 119 days being alone. Im not sad anymore, i mean.. life gotta move on. I think it over and over again in that 119 days. &im proud to says, im over you dude. I miss you at times, especially when in night time,  im all alone on my bed. Oh no, is not YOU that i missed, but the memories we had together. Well, to those who having a broken heart. Cheer up! Keep smiling, keep smiling till you found your true smile again. Because life is too short, too short for us to be unhappy. :))

At times it’s just the companion you missed. But not the person. Just keep walking, because one day, that someone's gonna appear with his true smile. ;)

Don't make me fall for your smile. 

No, I won't. 

Okay, I lied. 

It's 18nov today. Happy birthday to me, myself and I.
The painful day, yet has come. The day when he promised to celebrate with me. But now, it can no longer happen.. Feeling so pain, so pain that couldnt express myself. I have no idea why, but yeahh. I choose to stays on my bed after work today. I don't want others to celebrate with me. I just want you dude! Do you know what am I feeling right now ? It been 6 weeks you've left me. And I can't  deny that,  I miss you still. been putting strong acting like I don't care. But fact.. Sighh. :(

Life's a bitch, live with it.

It been more than a month since you left me...

Time files, and in 4 mnths time.. I will be gradurating ! Gosh, its nov, and it been a very busy month for me ! No surprise i totally forget my birthday is coming till someone reminded me! Thanks god all class tests and projects are all over, and now left with final exam in two more weeks.

I always believe every negative, theres always a positive things waiting for me. &hell yes! I'm leaving on the 12/12/12 to Thailand! So exciteddddddd to the Maxxxx! :D

Love life was real bad, ever since the day you decide to leave. Ive been having this hard time, been sometimes till now. Somehow, im real grateful with god, family and ofcos mu beloved friends that been keeping me going all this while. Without you guys, i think i wont be able to pick it out, and move on! I might be having this hard time for the past one mnth, but I believe after which, I've learnt to be stronger in life. Look people, life is more more than love! 

Somethings unexpected this few weeks. But, yeah.. It's not I don't wanna try or haven get over him. somehow, I've move on.. But it turn out to be a trauma to me. In another way, I lost hope for love..

I need a guy with words, and not always fail the plan. You may say im getting jealous and stuff, but i just couldnt get it at times, why when your staff having hard time and feeling down, you will be do optimistic towards them. But yet me ? Im your girlf, and all you know is im like this. Where are all those positive words and conforting ? If you were only treat your friend well, I don't mind...

 Second week of my holiday, and I think I'm gonna spend my last week of holiday with this fever.  Been playing around me since Monday, it goes down, and up again. Last midnight shoot up to 40.3, t point of time I was wondering if it's the thermometer having problem with me, or god is really kidding me. Dear god, pls be nice to me. School reopen starts on next Monday.! 

Its my 3rd day of my 2weeks holiday! yea, hell shit.. i have no idea should i be happy or dead. It's so boring and i swear ! i think i gotta get my ass back to work real soon. Those who knw me well, i can't stand boredness :(

It was good that i went out since morning, just to make myself tired and  go sleep though. Im feeling so empty in me, as in... i picked up cigg again,  SIGH. due to my boredness? I DON'T KNOW... All i know is, this term holiday really SUCKS to maxxxxxxxxx. Like what else? Boyf isn't free to entertain me at all, most of my friends been busy dating lately. Come on god, please tell me there's more things for me to enjoy than, drinking, smoking, eating and sleepinggggggggggggg.

Hey, i wish you could feel, what im feeling now..

 

Friends that being there for you in 3am, that matter...

Tell me, tell me who can i talk to...

Feeling alil tired, alil empty. Feels like sleeping, but yet i couldnt fall asleep. Just feel like going for a drink and drink, drunk, drank. Can't be bother to care so much like i used to, when people dont cherish and appreciate it. Life's something funnny which i couldn't understand about it. Need someone to talk to and shoulder so badly. But hey, who can i go to? Its right that so many others care for you, dote you even more, understand your needs and wants, but yet.. i can't accept it. My heart is not big enough to content one more in. Therefore, got to choose one, just one is enough. And let go on others that is not that one. I believe this happened to most of girls right, when a guy is pretty nice and care for you, and you know.. you know he can give you more than that. But you reject it and remains the same, ended up? Is relationship all about this ? im getting lil bit of tired and sick in this. Feeling so sucks now. At times, i start to ask myself, why? Yes, just this words, 'WHY'. If this's not th relastionship and type of guy you looking for, then WHY do you choose to  stay ? Well, maybe because i love him' but ive no idea whether does he feels the same..?


How much of you, understand and know what im feeling now ? :(

Okay, im backkkkk! Just too tired to. Everything's doing fine, been to Mother and Child ward. well, long way to go.. but somehow i believe i will survive. And yes ! im aim-ing for a short getaway on september ! Finally im afternoon tmr, and its time to stuck my ass on bed longer ;p

Honey, i felt we're fading apart...

Hello to those whoever reading this now ! Im suppose to be posting on monday, but yet too tired to. Well, let me see.. too many things to share, but yet too lazy share. So i shall just make it sweet and short. It was great that im posted to Mother and Child ward, morning shift since monday.  Be seeing those live and death. But oh well, every sad stuff there's always a happy stuff to cover it right ? Today was so interesting, and im really enjoyed TODAY. Wait, i can't even rmb when was the time i felt so overjoyed !

So.. first time showered a 2 days old infant in my 19 years of life ! Overall was good. The feeling of, when the babys start crying... and  you cuddle them, they stop immdediately !

After my shift, changed up and meet superHubb.
Yes, i met him for lunch at JCude, catch a movie and went to arcadeeeeeee ! This sounds crazy about arcade, but hey.. i really appreciate alot. " Hey handsome, thanks for today.!"

SuperHubb<3

Red Velvet cake ! :D

Maybe this is the best you can think of right now. But still, thank you..

Our love, our hope, our dream, our life, our everythings, <3...


We might be together just for that few mnths, but our love was more than this for sure./-
Things are better even now. Well, maybe thats the least you can for now to hold us tight. Im glad that you've been trying. As long as you're trying, i will be staying without thinking. Things might be difference from last time, but i believe atleast we learnt somethings which makes us even grow stronger.

I went shopping ytd to buy present againnnnn, went see see look look at Zara. Managed to get one top for my sweetie Jovel. And ofcos ME MYSELF :D

For today, went to meet my darling Huifen. And so, managed to bought a ring for us. YES, without saying... I wanna make it special. &Im gonna surprise him with that pic as above,! :)

The kisses and the huggies.

Hey, i miss the idotic you..

I felt so empty, because you were'nt here. I miss calling you deari, honey, superhubb. I know, you have been trying hard to get me back. I want to walk to you again, but somehow... im afraid. Yes, there's a but. Because i doubt. I doubt about us still.

I was lost by your hug and kissses. At the moment, the time stopped, i stop breathing, my eye stop blinking, and my own world had stop itself. Yes, i may show a NO. But hey, know what? my heart was like, HELL YES ! i want to start jumping around like a mad women.! BUT i choose to maintain. Ok, i know im stupid, nonsense, or whatever. -.-

Went health promotion board early in the morning for attending Youth Mental Health workshop. Feeling so pain when realising someone saw your message, but yet he ignore it. Oh well. Surprisingly i survived that 7 hours, and i have been laughing through out everything in there ! :D

Finished the workshop about 5.45pm, rushed down to vivo city to look for my both beloved's bro bday present. Oh wait, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MOST ANNOYING BROTHER EVER ! THANKS FOR ACTING SILLY AND STUPID JUST TO MAKE ME LAUGH! :) It was nice that both my brothers birthday falls on jul. (20 days diff though) WHich means, i can buy the presents tgt the same time !

Buying one shot! :)

Managed to got Da Ge a perfrume, and a sling bag for Er Ge. Hope they like it though.!

Yeah, you're my hopes, my dreams, my everythings..

And hey.. i miss this idiotic him, of mine.. 

:(

I didn't walk away, You're the one who choose to let me go..

It's tuesday, i thought im suppose to be with him. And im at home blogging, and ofcos having my Ben & Jerry ice cream.

But oh well, I aways thought, but who's gonna confirm ? Hmm.

Yesterday was a nightmare, and yes. i choose to walk away without saying a words. But it was because i have enough of the pain. Im glad you voice out. But i bet you never know it hurts me lots. Why must you even tell me all this when im alrdy feeling down ? There' just some things i dont understand. What is love ? I thought its all about caring, being there with you, treating you like ive no idea why am i doing all this for you? Being there when you're going to work, i THOUGHT you will feel much better, because i do. Being there when you finish work, i THOUGHT i could brighten up end of your day, and you will feel less tired after seeing me.  Treating you like nobody else, because i love you. But never did i expect you say says, you might get used to it, thinking theres nothing special anymore. And stop loving me. I always THOUGHT you're comfortable with me. But fact is, you're not all this while. And what hurts me the most. you want me to accept the fact of Reknowing you as person now. But i will keep trying, because i will accept the fact to reknowing you. But you got to accept of the part of me, and ofcos me not longer loving you like before. To be honest,  once you said this, i have no idea what now. All i know is. I wanna be alone for this while and think something about us.  If we're meant to be, we will, one day..

Thanks to June and Alvin beig there for me. Poor alvin, being a taxi driver ytd. well, i really appreciated. And im glad that i have you two by my side.

Hi Mr Sunshine.

Suppz !

Cool, my blog is 5 years old now! im having my holiday still. And soon, nxt week will be my last week of Lepak day ! ;p

Well, attachment starting soon. Which means, gotta say hi to my fellow colleaugue and patients out there in NUH.

Went Suntanning my girlfriend ytd, sun was rather crazy though.

Result was out yesterday. &its what i predicted! GP dropped to 2! YES! like fuck yeahhh. I swear its killing me. Well, thanks to Alvin, my sexy. Yeah,! He bought durian all the way to my block to surprise me and cheer me up. Indeed, after eating those durian, im feeling ways better!

Hard earn.

Guess what? Im updating inside mrt!

Turned crazy last night, all my hard earn money gone just like this ! Have been not spending so much, just to make sure I've enough in my piggy bank before I open a new acct. yet now ? I've no idea who's the idiot, really. I don't know who I believe right now. I just felt so scary, you can even lost all your hard earn money in your own house ! Totally break down when I realize it, crying for hours. I just Wana knw who's the one. 'I really hope it's not you.

Hopefully Im feeling muchhhh better now. Controlling my emotional still..

Been busy for the past few months as usual. Wonder when will it end.

Attachment was good, it's all abt caring a stranger, after the care, you won't get to see them again. Trying not to be too close and feeling to those ah ma, ah gong. Just to avoid emotional problem though. oh well...

I really hope it's not you..

You;re the pulse in me.

Once again, im back to feed my blog. Oh well , i had finally get into ite health science Nursing. The department head always came to my mind kept saying : You did not choose to get into nursing, but you got chosen into nursing. I like, i enjoy, im happy and excited everyday, land lastly, its stress and tired everyday too. about 2 more mths, im gonna asist the rel patient in bed, & this time round is not just by cleaning the eye, dropping eyedrop, checking th eye as usual. But their life is in your hand, you're gonna to use two hands to carry/taking care of them like infrant. Wish me good luck guys.

I did no went to school the past two days. Why? its student's fav, MC. Down with Pyrexia and flu. Was so weak that i cant even get up from my beddy, thanks god that i did manage to stand up and not POP down. My family and my love is real worried for me, love bring me to dr, making me to sleep like baby, tepid sponge for me to ensure my temp goes down, etc.. I know it had been a hard time for him, too. THANK YOU :D

Its saturday today, no more saturday night please, exam week is still in processing, managed to down my bio paper 1 and ns paper. What's next ? pharse test, paper 2, many many more to gooooooo.



SIGH...

Life is never easy as you think...

Firstly, finally i had the time to login here...

It had been rather busy and stressing days this few months. But well, everyone knows, i will survive, i must survive and i can survive ! Because i always believe that after a blackie sky, there will be a rainbow up there real soon !

I had applied my ite full time nursing, what i can do now is to pray everyday, every single day that i can get in, in order for me not to contiue working in the clinic. Im happy working there, but if only just clinic asis and not those rubbish paper work, hospital invoice, etc.. I have nth much more to do, shall just wait till 26jan's resut release..

Sometimes, peoples always tend to think i can survive without someone.. But fact is, just sometimes, you can't. because without the someone, you coud just go jump down the building, OR, just get some advise from doctor from what's the 101 ways of die-ing . That's it.
Life is never easy as you think.

I really glad i had met my Mr Right. He gave me the power to carry on, without him... i could had just turn haywire. Just imgaine how powerful he is ?

Pray For The Best, Prepare For The Worst.

Well, i bet this post nobodys really knows what im posting about. But well, who cares ?

Past 12. O lvl result is out. Though im not taking o lvl. But im registering my ite full time student. People might think, so? its just an ite nitec, what a big fuck of it ? For me, it another way round. Dumtyp had to be so stressed up because me, everythig is just because am too stupid to took up part time student. thhat's it.

Gosh.. i need a long break :((

When you're sad, as when that's no way you can tell him how much you had fallen for him. You wish to get a boyf quickly to cover him. But the fact is, when a guy ask you to be his girlf, you automatically rejected him. Why ? Because you realize, your heart still wondering bout him. I never thought i would fall in love, then i met you...