2013

It's 2013, HAPPY NEW YEAR humans! (though is kinda late) But who cares right? ahahah! 
Yes, im back hospital to missy life. And 2 more months, there goes my 2 years of nursing course! Time files, & i realize i've been in healthcare line for 3 yearsssss.

Its monday today, as usual you will get to see my zoombie face. To be honest, Im pretty glad that i survived till 11pm at work yesterday! Andddddd, my morning shift today :) Is all started with the big big bright bright moon this morning, and ofcos those stars at the sky. 
Work was good today, busying my cute patients! At times when im so shagged, so tired that i just feel like ignoring those callbells. But maybe the most wonderful things to kept me going with a smile is realizing that your smile to them, make a very big difference.


It been 17 weeks without you. To be exactly, 119 days being alone. Im not sad anymore, i mean.. life gotta move on. I think it over and over again in that 119 days. &im proud to says, im over you dude. I miss you at times, especially when in night time,  im all alone on my bed. Oh no, is not YOU that i missed, but the memories we had together. Well, to those who having a broken heart. Cheer up! Keep smiling, keep smiling till you found your true smile again. Because life is too short, too short for us to be unhappy. :))

At times it’s just the companion you missed. But not the person. Just keep walking, because one day, that someone's gonna appear with his true smile. ;)

Don't make me fall for your smile. 

No, I won't. 

Okay, I lied. 

It's 18nov today. Happy birthday to me, myself and I.
The painful day, yet has come. The day when he promised to celebrate with me. But now, it can no longer happen.. Feeling so pain, so pain that couldnt express myself. I have no idea why, but yeahh. I choose to stays on my bed after work today. I don't want others to celebrate with me. I just want you dude! Do you know what am I feeling right now ? It been 6 weeks you've left me. And I can't  deny that,  I miss you still. been putting strong acting like I don't care. But fact.. Sighh. :(

Life's a bitch, live with it.

It been more than a month since you left me...

Time files, and in 4 mnths time.. I will be gradurating ! Gosh, its nov, and it been a very busy month for me ! No surprise i totally forget my birthday is coming till someone reminded me! Thanks god all class tests and projects are all over, and now left with final exam in two more weeks.

I always believe every negative, theres always a positive things waiting for me. &hell yes! I'm leaving on the 12/12/12 to Thailand! So exciteddddddd to the Maxxxx! :D

Love life was real bad, ever since the day you decide to leave. Ive been having this hard time, been sometimes till now. Somehow, im real grateful with god, family and ofcos mu beloved friends that been keeping me going all this while. Without you guys, i think i wont be able to pick it out, and move on! I might be having this hard time for the past one mnth, but I believe after which, I've learnt to be stronger in life. Look people, life is more more than love! 

Somethings unexpected this few weeks. But, yeah.. It's not I don't wanna try or haven get over him. somehow, I've move on.. But it turn out to be a trauma to me. In another way, I lost hope for love..

I need a guy with words, and not always fail the plan. You may say im getting jealous and stuff, but i just couldnt get it at times, why when your staff having hard time and feeling down, you will be do optimistic towards them. But yet me ? Im your girlf, and all you know is im like this. Where are all those positive words and conforting ? If you were only treat your friend well, I don't mind...

 Second week of my holiday, and I think I'm gonna spend my last week of holiday with this fever.  Been playing around me since Monday, it goes down, and up again. Last midnight shoot up to 40.3, t point of time I was wondering if it's the thermometer having problem with me, or god is really kidding me. Dear god, pls be nice to me. School reopen starts on next Monday.! 

Its my 3rd day of my 2weeks holiday! yea, hell shit.. i have no idea should i be happy or dead. It's so boring and i swear ! i think i gotta get my ass back to work real soon. Those who knw me well, i can't stand boredness :(

It was good that i went out since morning, just to make myself tired and  go sleep though. Im feeling so empty in me, as in... i picked up cigg again,  SIGH. due to my boredness? I DON'T KNOW... All i know is, this term holiday really SUCKS to maxxxxxxxxx. Like what else? Boyf isn't free to entertain me at all, most of my friends been busy dating lately. Come on god, please tell me there's more things for me to enjoy than, drinking, smoking, eating and sleepinggggggggggggg.

Hey, i wish you could feel, what im feeling now..

 

Friends that being there for you in 3am, that matter...

Tell me, tell me who can i talk to...

Feeling alil tired, alil empty. Feels like sleeping, but yet i couldnt fall asleep. Just feel like going for a drink and drink, drunk, drank. Can't be bother to care so much like i used to, when people dont cherish and appreciate it. Life's something funnny which i couldn't understand about it. Need someone to talk to and shoulder so badly. But hey, who can i go to? Its right that so many others care for you, dote you even more, understand your needs and wants, but yet.. i can't accept it. My heart is not big enough to content one more in. Therefore, got to choose one, just one is enough. And let go on others that is not that one. I believe this happened to most of girls right, when a guy is pretty nice and care for you, and you know.. you know he can give you more than that. But you reject it and remains the same, ended up? Is relationship all about this ? im getting lil bit of tired and sick in this. Feeling so sucks now. At times, i start to ask myself, why? Yes, just this words, 'WHY'. If this's not th relastionship and type of guy you looking for, then WHY do you choose to  stay ? Well, maybe because i love him' but ive no idea whether does he feels the same..?


How much of you, understand and know what im feeling now ? :(